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Many couples come to therapy telling me their issue is communication. What we know and learn in emotionally focused therapy (EFT) is that the issue related to attachment and unresolved childhood trauma as well as developmental longings. In gestalt therapy we view this pattern as one where we try to complete the cycle of experience that was interrupted in childhood to have a better outcome with our current partners. However, stuck patterns and ways of relating inhibit this process and we can miss
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